EASTER EGG %1

FOX'S TRUE* BIO

 

WHAT IS AN EASTER EGG? 


The FoxSwan website has several hidden “Easter Eggs.”  This is hidden content on the website!  Visit each page.  Click around.  See if you can find the others! 

When Fox was born, all the nurses gathered around.  They held the naked newborn by his waist, dangling him before their bewildered eyes.   One of the nurses almost fainted.  They were like, “DAMN!  That boy is HUGE! Just look at that nose!” 


Before he was in middle school, Fox heard the call to serve.  He volunteered for three tours of duty in Vietnam.  Later, when asked how a then teenage Fox could have served in a war that happened over forty years ago, his mother quoted, "I think he’s making that up." 


Another adventure-seeking quest brought Fox deep into the Alaskan wilderness.  He stumbled across a bunch of drunken outdoorsmen. One of the intoxicated vacationers dared Fox to drink a keg of Alaskan brew, defeat a bear with his bare hands, and mate with a local.  


Fox accepted the challenge.  He drank not one, not two, but three kegs of Alaskan beer and disappeared into the wilderness. Moments later, they heard horrible screams and grunts. Then Fox returned.  Battered.  Torn.  Bleeding.   Bites on his arms, and a bear claw embedded into his skull.   


Fox stared the drunkards right in the eye and said, "I drank your beer…I found that bear…now where is that woman I have to wrestle?" 


But it’s when Fox returned home to California that the single greatest moment in world history occurred. 


Fox found a wounded animal dehydrated, passed out, and sunburnt on the top of his shiny head, sprawled out on the sandy beach like some piece of roadkill.   Little did he know this helpless beast would forever change the coarse of his life.   He unzipped his pants.


TO BE CONTINUED...


* Not true when governed by the laws of California and Puerto Rico